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Friday, 20 July 2012

Oh no, I'm fine. I've just got something in my eye.

Today is Eldest's last day at primary school. About an hour ago, a bunch of parents straggled away from the Leavers' Assembly, weeping and occasionally clutching at each other.

Emotions are running high. This morning, Eldest said "O!M!G!" about a hundred times whilst getting ready for the day.There will be tears before bedtime, and not all of them will be hers.

This summer we'll buy new uniform; but also we'll do craft, yoga, camping, cycling - all the usual things. There's still a summer, but both Eldest and I are in danger of forgetting that today.

In an odd twist of fate, we'll be needing the basement room this summer as an actual spare room, rather than a place where we file things away that we don't want to deal with. The last few weeks I've spent hours down there, shredding and tossing pieces of Eldest's childhood - three lever arch files full of Statements of Special Educational Needs, ten years' worth of physiotherapy and occupational therapy and speech therapy, including exercises for a tiny child who could be persuaded to reach in any direction as long as someone was blowing soap bubbles. I've kept precious paintings, some project work, school reports - but her primary school days are over, and I need to let go of them.

My basement is clear. We're in the moment. We're all so Zen over here.

This was my grandmother's doll's house; it's falling to bits, painted with who knows what kind of terrifying poisonous paint. When I was a child I called it the Haunted House. Sometimes I think of painstakingly restoring it and then I remember that a) I don't have the skills and b) I don't have the time.





24 comments:

  1. As someone who simply can't cry in public (the preventing of which involves so much gulping and frowning that it would be far easier and more aesthetically appealing to let go) I realise I need the next few years to rehearse this day. Enjoy the summer that stretches out: a little hiatus before the next phase. Ah, motherhood...

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    1. It's terrifyingly fast, this motherhood. No-one tells you that.

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  2. High school next year?!! No! Surely she's still only five?

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  3. Grab another box of tissues, a bottle of wine, and have a fantastic summer! I'll be in denial over the next year that it's my eldest's turn next July..

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    1. I need VERY little encouragement to grab a bottle of wine...

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  4. What is it about time. too fast it goes too fast. Wow on high school, a real transition. Love the house and the wall decorations, you are pretty inspiring

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    1. Pinterest is inspiring. I am just a follower.

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  5. While you and I DO NOT DO comparisons I shall point out that Youngest has turned 18.
    He was 9.

    (don't dare refinish that doll's house!)

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  6. I know!! And this week, we saw youngest finish high school and eldest leave sixth form! How did that happen!

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  7. Oh dear. Oh dear. I got through today because I know the children who are leaving on a professional level - they are not my children or my children's friends. But next year, you will hear me howling all the way up the M1.

    Hugs to you all.

    And that doll's house is terrifying.

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  8. Wine is the answer. To many questions. Surprised you didn't begin snivelling while still doing the basement.

    Your photo looks very magazine shoot worthy.

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  9. We had a graduation ceremony today too as our youngest child left infant school. His school put on the most tear jerking ceremony, with all the children singing songs like 'Stand by me'. Small children earnestly singing gets me every time - add in all the goodbyes and I was a goner. I will think of you this evening as I lift my large glass of wine. x

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    1. Why do they make it so emotional? As soon as we got into assembly they were playing the kind of music that makes you cry. And that was before the kids even filed in.

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  10. snap. we had the OMG's. we had sobbing. giant chocolate buttons to the rescue. xxx

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  11. I remember those tears... and now my youngest is 19! Am I weird... I love that dolls house.

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  12. xx. And if my life was a movie, I'd have a dolls house like that.

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  13. What Ali said.

    Sending hugs m'dear.

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  14. I'm right in there with you as I prepare to have two children GONE all day every day for the first time. Weird. xoxo

    And I think "Leavers' Assembly" is the most charming term I have ever heard. EVER.

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  15. I have 2 years to go and I am already breathing faster ...

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  16. Yeah worked out how to comment via iPhone - only taken 2 years!!
    Am in denial about O leaving primary, have 1 year left, but he wants to go to school where I teach so will see more of him - not sure how he'll feel when he's 13 tho' ...

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  17. On no, this will be me next year. I teach in my sons school and already cry when each year leaves, I think the end of school is the saddest day.

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  18. We had all that last year. I found it wonderfully liberating to be rid of all the primary school clutter and nonsense that had become rather irksome -not that I'm not grateful for the wonderful job our primary school did. The end of term has been so calm this year and I will have a 17 year old son tomorrow -gulp!

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  19. I adore that doll's house, it's so beautiful!

    It's also scary to think how fast life seems to passing by!

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