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Saturday, 3 September 2011

The housekeeping just goes on and on

If someone emails you to offer you a free lunch, an art workshop for your children, an afternoon at the theatre AND a free vacuum cleaner, I'd challenge any of you to turn them down. Dirt Devil did just that this summer. And I'm not made of stone.

So. We drove to Manchester, and then the children disappeared - poof! and I got to eat sandwiches in peace and watch the vacuum company men fiddle with their equipment.

I did fall a little bit in love - as much as you can with a vacuum - with the Reach, and its 13m cleaning radious and its superlong hose. It claims to be able to reach across two tennis courts, and it was really, really light. We live in a house full of stairs; my vacuum is a good deal heavier than the Reach. The Reach has all sorts of useful gubbins for picking up pet hair, but as we don't have a pet I didn't really listen. I just sat there, full of longing.

This is my new vacuum - a lovely new handheld model. £59.99 to you.
It cleans things! It recharges! It has fancy brushes which mean you can actually use it as a back-up vacuum, not just something you use to do the car with. In fact, the only thing I don't like about this vacuum is the press release, which reads "now Dad can do his bit and keep the car fresh". Shame on you, Dirt Devil. This isn't the 1950s. Dad can vacuum the house.

My old handheld vacuum sucks. I mean, you know, that it doesn't suck too hard at all. I did have a much better one, but I gave it to my mother and replaced it with a cheaper one. Wisdom about contentment and happiness suggests that giving gifts and sharing what you have makes you happier. All it left me with this time was a crappy vacuum and a dirty car. I'm a much happier lady now, with my little rechargeable Dirt Devil. I've even seen Littlest using it.

The day took place at The Lowry in Manchester. It's ages since I went to the Lowry - last time I went there I saw Forkbeard Fantasy, and I'm not entirely sure if I only had one child at the time.

The theatre show - Mr Stink, by David Walliams - came with a scratch and sniff booklet. The action centered around a really smelly tramp, so nearly every scent inside was utterly hideous. The children waved them in delight.

So. May I humbly direct you to the Dirt Devil website, where they have a blog. It has celebrity gossip (I don't know) and tips about cleaning, including this great tip for pre-Christmas cleaning: "Before pulling the decorations down from the loft, de-clutter the entire house."

Sorry. I just snorted so hard that my head fell off.

17 comments:

  1. I thought the xmas decorations were made to cover the clutter around the house!!!

    silly me.

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  2. Don't worry, just use the hoover to suck it all up! I just need one with a great trombone of a head to whoosh up all the stuff, an integral sorting table, and an exhaust to spew it back out into the appropriate child's bedroom.

    Pomona x

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  3. I think that for me to get excited about a vacuum cleaner, it would have to come with someone to operate it. Johnny Depp perhaps?

    I'm glad you got a gift though and the children were made to disappear. I take it you got them back eventually?

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  4. I love that they watched the kids and fed you! (They also should have sneaked into your house and decluttered it for you to prepare for Christmas! Ha!) It's a lovely vacuum. (As lovely as vacuums can be...)

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  5. Ha!
    We don't even take the decorations down from the loft anymore!
    We just buy a wee little tree.

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  6. Never mind the 1950s, my husband hoovers better than I do. Not as frequently, but far more thoroughly.

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  7. Hubby was just complaining about our handvac yesterday when he was trying to use it to sweep the bugs out of the outside light fixtures. Proof that 1) men use them 2) not only for the car but for lots of other goofy things 3) I can't think of a 3 because I'm still laughing about your head falling off comment.

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  8. looks quite retro...nicer than the sucker that's been hanging up in our garage since we moved in ten years ago

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  9. if I start today, I might have one room decluttered by Christmas. I like the idea of hoovering it all up instead. or should that be vacuuming, as I don't have a hoover I have a different brand.....

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  10. It has taken me three weeks to declutter two cupboards.

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  11. That's a lovely vacuum cleaner. If it was mine, I'd put it on a shelf and admire it.

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  12. I'm Crayon - we have to clean outside light fixtures?

    Projectforty - but 10 years will make it retro, right?

    InvisibleWoman - that's a good plan. I'm going to do that.

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  13. ...you've just got me in trouble- I was reading your blog post, Mr TH passes by & becomes enthusiastic thinking I'm researching a new hoover as ours has just packed up... how to explain?

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  14. Thrifty Household - but surely that's exactly what you were doing! I see no trouble here.

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  15. Killing myself at the Christmas Dec tip! Oh yes - I agree, but could somebody give me a "paid" week off work, remove my children for said week and do all the shopping, cooking etc as well? Then I might stand a chance at decluttering.....

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