The housekeeping just goes on and on

If someone emails you to offer you a free lunch, an art workshop for your children, an afternoon at the theatre AND a free vacuum cleaner, I'd challenge any of you to turn them down. Dirt Devil did just that this summer. And I'm not made of stone.

So. We drove to Manchester, and then the children disappeared - poof! and I got to eat sandwiches in peace and watch the vacuum company men fiddle with their equipment.

I did fall a little bit in love - as much as you can with a vacuum - with the Reach, and its 13m cleaning radious and its superlong hose. It claims to be able to reach across two tennis courts, and it was really, really light. We live in a house full of stairs; my vacuum is a good deal heavier than the Reach. The Reach has all sorts of useful gubbins for picking up pet hair, but as we don't have a pet I didn't really listen. I just sat there, full of longing.

This is my new vacuum - a lovely new handheld model. £59.99 to you.

It cleans things! It recharges! It has fancy brushes which mean you can actually use it as a back-up vacuum, not just something you use to do the car with. In fact, the only thing I don't like about this vacuum is the press release, which reads "now Dad can do his bit and keep the car fresh". Shame on you, Dirt Devil. This isn't the 1950s. Dad can vacuum the house.

My old handheld vacuum sucks. I mean, you know, that it doesn't suck too hard at all. I did have a much better one, but I gave it to my mother and replaced it with a cheaper one. Wisdom about contentment and happiness suggests that giving gifts and sharing what you have makes you happier. All it left me with this time was a crappy vacuum and a dirty car. I'm a much happier lady now, with my little rechargeable Dirt Devil. I've even seen Littlest using it.

The day took place at The Lowry in Manchester. It's ages since I went to the Lowry - last time I went there I saw Forkbeard Fantasy, and I'm not entirely sure if I only had one child at the time.

The theatre show - Mr Stink, by David Walliams - came with a scratch and sniff booklet. The action centered around a really smelly tramp, so nearly every scent inside was utterly hideous. The children waved them in delight.

So. May I humbly direct you to the Dirt Devil website, where they have a blog. It has celebrity gossip (I don't know) and tips about cleaning, including this great tip for pre-Christmas cleaning: "Before pulling the decorations down from the loft, de-clutter the entire house."

Sorry. I just snorted so hard that my head fell off.