1) Those spiky plants all over my garden that I had been led to believe were red hot pokers that my mother had given me are in fact weeds. They have the same foliage, but they are still weeds.
What makes this discovery very irritating is that I have been caring for these weeds for some time now, and have even moved some with great care from one side of the garden to the other, watering them lovingly with organic plant feed.
2) Also the 'lavender' plant is not a lavender. I looked at many pictures of lavender on the interwebs and it resembles none of them. And it smells odd. Not in a lavender way.
This actually is not too much of an issue because the thing is dying. Which makes a change from most of the things in my garden, which have just disappeared without trace.
3) After finding my carrots and tomato plants utterly decimated, I am in the market for some ready-grown tomato plants and some kick-ass slug pellets. I refuse to feel bad about this. I have washed cotton nappies in eco-balls and white vinegar before hanging them out to line dry for a total of six years; it's time the environment and I had a bit of a falling-out.
4) Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre is a fine book. It is everything I hoped that this would be, but wasn't.