Monday, 18 May 2009

Let them eat cake

If you are invited to my house ever, eat your dinner first. Really. Don't say to yourself: "There'll probably be nibbles." There won't.

I don't understand nibbles. I don't know what I'm supposed to buy, or serve them in, or put out. If you come to my house, you're having cake and that's the end of it.

Yesterday was Mr Coffee's birthday. People were invited to the house, and offered a choice of three types of cake, scones and cream, or biscuits.

Children came, and were filled full of sugar before being sent off home to tantrum in the comfort of their own homes.

There may have been a fruit bowl around somewhere, but everyone did their best to ignore it. Good for them.

Completely healthy people are beyond my understanding. Those who don't eat cake or drink wine scare me - they represent the same uncomfortable other-world that seems to lurk down alleyways in the dark and makes you take a cab home from the cinema.

The other day the mother of the Littlest Latte's friend came round for coffee while the children trashed the house and fought with each other (at this age they call it 'playing'). I offered her a cupcake. A good cupcake. None of your mediocre stuff.

"Oh they do look nice," said the hitherto perfectly nice and friendly lady. "But I won't. I just had a baked potato."

This comment made no sense. This previously witty, lovely and chatty lady suddenly seemed to me strange, and dangerous, and quite possibly to be avoided in future.


  1. I heartily agree. And when said healthy person decides to eat the cake you've offered, she should not feel the need to mention that it isn't something she'd normally ingest. I hate that.

  2. You need have no fear of me then. I've just taken a tray of chocodoodles out of the oven (quite as lovely as they sound) and am drinking a stiff G&T after snaffling the end of the children's oven chips.

    I do love baked potatoes, mind you, but to pass up a cupcake in favour of a spud? Shudder.

  3. I too am suspicious of such non-cake -eating types.

    But I am also partial to a nibble.

  4. Such a lovely post, I am now starting this wet and grey wednesday morning with a smile.

  5. Wine + cake = all the required food groups. 'Nuf said.

  6. oh my. anyone who doesn't eat cake is clearly very unwell, I mean I know I'm fussy about cake and only eat the gluten free kind, but not to eat it at all.........

    I pity her poor children.

  7. I would have eaten several cakes.

    And I have recently taken up smoking again - a wicked, sinful and self destructive habit. I do love it.

  8. If I am trying to be good and lose a few (dozen) pounds, I might say "Oh, I wish I could but I am really trying to lose weight. Is it okay if I just look longingly at it and sniff it a bit?" How would that go down? (PS By "sniff" I mean "nibble slightly")

  9. if a cupcake was offered to me i would take it in a heart beat and gleefully stuff it down my neck before i could even think about all the other cakes i had eaten that day.....
    was the woman serious?
    a baked potato?
    i have just eaten two baked spuds and still have room for lemon cake and a slab of chocolate....
    ack well - nowt stranger than folk
    have a great weekend eating cake
    t x


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