Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Where's Jack Bauer when you need him?

Last year, when I was ill (I can hear you, by the way, sighing and saying 'God, will she not stop going ON about that already?') I got into a groove.

I cranked up my Lovefilm membership and ordered loads of stuff. I planned to watch things I'd never had chance to watch, and ended up with weeks full of Kiefer Sutherland in 24. When Mr Coffee went away on a business trip, I emailed him every day to tell him what Jack Bauer was doing. Mr Coffee emailed back to say he hoped that Jack would have time to care for me while he was so busy saving the world.

"I do not actually trust him to look after me as he is very busy pretending to be a virus buyer," I replied. "He has just shot his partner in the head in order to keep his cover; if he has so little sympathy for him then I doubt he would give a monkeys about a small moaning woman asking if she could have a chair to sit on."

Well this week I am a bit tired, and in need of rest, but I am not prepared. I have no pile of DVDs. I have a big book, but it's a big book, and it would take a type of commitment I don't have this week.

Yesterday, inspired by the List Writer, I got hold of my first set of knitting needles in over 20 years and knitted a square. And then I looked at it and thought, who am I kidding? What am I going to do with this square? We all know it is never going to turn into a blanket.

I am at sea. Jack is not here to rescue me. With no-one being tortured, and the world not being in peril, how is a girl to rest and recuperate?


  1. Just knit another little square and don't worry about the whole blanket thing. You'll have a nice pile of knitted coasters! Or knee patches for the Lattes' trousers...?

    Old Cary Grant movies are my favourite LOVEFiLM indulgence. Or Sex & The City re-runs. There's a combination.

    N. x

  2. I have a few thoughts here. First, maybe this Jack Bauer has a predilection for small moaning women. It could happen. (Side note: I am so backward and clueless about television and movies anymore that the last thing I saw K. Sutherland in was Flatliners. Embarrassing.) Second, way to GO on the knitting! I think you now have a lovely mug rug upon which to place your daily cup of joe. Finally, your husband cracks me up. Does he have a blog?

  3. I'm always expecting Jack Bauer to come rescue me too!

  4. ok so I'm way out of my depth here - lovefilm, what are you talking about lady......
    as for the square surely it will be the perfect size for a small soft teddy type creature belonging to one of the little lattes. xx

  5. Blanket schmanket. I've no patience for the long haul. You need a fast project. More 24 than 365. Knitted bowl? Scarf? Hat? Think instant gratification. And hope for good TV.

    My word thingummy is restiphy, which sounds good advice.

  6. Perhaps just knit for the sake of it? Fine as long as you don't then end up with a kinitting related injury which would be no help at all.

    Failing that, we'll all keep you company online!

    I used to go to school with someone who had the same mouth as Kiefer Sutherland. No other resemblance, no world saving tendencies, but the mouth was uncanny!

  7. Jack is always out saving the world when you need him. Selfish bastard.

  8. Oh Jack would be a nightmare husband. You'd cook tea, he'd be in late without calling and miss it; you'd be having sex, he'd answer his bloody phone during; you'd have his child, she'd end up getting kidnapped because of Dad.

    Nightmare man. Still, he'd be good at fighting folk who upset you in the kebab shop or taxi queue of a night out...

    You're well out of it. Gene Hunt however....(rent Life on Mars, if you haven't already...)


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