I saw something a little bit alarming the other day. Maybe I shouldn't show you it. Maybe you don't want to be alarmed. Maybe you are drinking your coffee and having a little cake and you don't want to be put off your zen.
I'm sorry. I just couldn't stop myself. See - it's Eddie Izzard, a comedian I like very much, but he seems to have forgotten to do up his buttons.
I have spent the last few days trying to work out why this bothers me. I'm not a body fascist. Let's face it, I'm in no position to be. And Izzard's stomach is perfectly normal. Why should it bother me that he has had its picture taken?
Then I remembered Madonna, pouting in some bits of bandage not so long ago. And I remember feeling very sad that after so many years on the planet, the poor woman hadn't grasped the idea that wandering around in your knickers wasn't the only sexy thing in the world. Yes, she's in terrific shape. But surely more mature or interesting people have something else to offer? Don't we deserve better?
Take young Zac Efron here, from High School Musical. Doesn't that look fun? (Obviously, I am an elderly married woman, and my idea of 'fun' would be to stand him against a wall and bounce tennis balls off his stomach. What you think is fun is entirely up to you.) But do you expect him to make a woman giggle uncontrollably with his subtle satire, or impress her with his knowledge of books and world events?
It is a fact that women fancy comedians as unlikely as David Mitchell, Dara O'Briain and Frankie Boyle. These are not, at face value, attractive men. They are not men you would give a second glance if they were working at the Inland Revenue. Your first thought on meeting them would not be 'come on then, let's see your navel'. But it is no surprise that they have fans who want to do more to them than watch them on the telly. They're sexy because they are funny men with a wicked smile and a quick brain.
Eddie Izzard was one of those men. Certainly I thought so. But now he's coming off more as a mildly amusing, slightly tubby bloke who thinks a bit too much of himself.
And that's not a good look.