Thursday, 2 April 2009

That's nice dear. Now put it back

I saw something a little bit alarming the other day. Maybe I shouldn't show you it. Maybe you don't want to be alarmed. Maybe you are drinking your coffee and having a little cake and you don't want to be put off your zen.

I'm sorry. I just couldn't stop myself. See - it's Eddie Izzard, a comedian I like very much, but he seems to have forgotten to do up his buttons.

I have spent the last few days trying to work out why this bothers me. I'm not a body fascist. Let's face it, I'm in no position to be. And Izzard's stomach is perfectly normal. Why should it bother me that he has had its picture taken?

Then I remembered Madonna, pouting in some bits of bandage not so long ago. And I remember feeling very sad that after so many years on the planet, the poor woman hadn't grasped the idea that wandering around in your knickers wasn't the only sexy thing in the world. Yes, she's in terrific shape. But surely more mature or interesting people have something else to offer? Don't we deserve better?

Take young Zac Efron here, from High School Musical. Doesn't that look fun? (Obviously, I am an elderly married woman, and my idea of 'fun' would be to stand him against a wall and bounce tennis balls off his stomach. What you think is fun is entirely up to you.) But do you expect him to make a woman giggle uncontrollably with his subtle satire, or impress her with his knowledge of books and world events?

It is a fact that women fancy comedians as unlikely as David Mitchell, Dara O'Briain and Frankie Boyle. These are not, at face value, attractive men. They are not men you would give a second glance if they were working at the Inland Revenue. Your first thought on meeting them would not be 'come on then, let's see your navel'. But it is no surprise that they have fans who want to do more to them than watch them on the telly. They're sexy because they are funny men with a wicked smile and a quick brain.

Eddie Izzard was one of those men. Certainly I thought so. But now he's coming off more as a mildly amusing, slightly tubby bloke who thinks a bit too much of himself.

And that's not a good look.


  1. I think both those photos have almost (but not quite) put me off my marmite on toast. I do find Ediie Izzard very funny, but that picture is ... not the way I want to see him.

  2. Agree - he is a very sexy man because of his humour. And kissing his middle finger just makes me heave! Effron is just too damn YOUNG for me, but twenty years ago I would have felt differently!

  3. Ew. Just ew. I don't know Eddie or his humor, but I do know this: the eye makeup doesn't become him. There's something about the forward-lurching posture, too. And Zac? Just too girlish (manly abdomen notwithstanding). And the arm-up-the-shirt thing is sooo contrived. Ho-hum. Just call me a desiccated old matron, I guess...

    P.S. I have no idea what to make of that Madonna costume. No idea whatsoever.

  4. I have led such a sheltered life...I had never even thought of tennis balls...

  5. Well, sexy European funny men are so, well, funny & sexy only because a year ago I stumbled upon *the* funniest (to me) sexy European guy, from Scotland no less. His name is Mr. Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show on CBS.

    He's also an American now, loves Paris, recovered alcoholic, exactly the same age as moi. So, his points of reference that he throws out on his show like so many itty bitty milky way bars totally resonate with me because WE'RE FROM THE SAME CENTURY. Like, he's not that cutie patootie Effron, or any of those other teen looking sexy dudes on t.v, but a man with experience, and depth.

    I do so love a man with a wicked sense of humor. Watched Izzard because someone online mentioned that he had the same sense of humor as Craigy boy, but I totally didn't get his vibe. When they're "into" themselves, I do believe a bigger turn-off could not be had.
    Love you Craig, Just Julie (yeah, I"m everywhere)

  6. I don't really get Eddie Izzard, and dear Zac is younger than my two sons so really I should avert my eyes [peeks through fingers admiringly].

  7. It's an odd shot, but he is a bit of a vain old pussy cat and always has been.

    Ickle Zac just reminds me of a baby butch lesbian taking blokey hormones. Which is how I also see Leonardo DiCaprio, actually.

    But yes, when the main appeal of a man is his mind, it is a bit off-putting to be suddenly reminded that without the mind attached, it's a bit ordinary. Some still shots of David Tennant unclothed, (Rassilon forgive me!) are similarly disappointing.

  8. David Mitchell is one of my many crushes of shame. And I'm alarmed that he has recently lost weight and spruced himself up.

    I bet he did it to put me off.


I love comments. I always try to respond - either here in the commentbox or by email if Blogger gives me your email address.

Thanks for visiting!