Friday, 3 December 2010

The white stuff

People have been flinging dairy produce at me recently. And I have no problem with that. I am not called LadyoftheLattes for nothing. And I love watching my children's hands clasped around a glass of milk, and hearing them gulp. I am at one with the lactose.

When I was ill with ME, a nutritional therapist friend suggested an exclusion diet. I gave up wheat, caffeine, sugar, dairy, alcohol... and then crossed my fingers that neither of the latter two were to blame.

The week I could have milk again was wonderful. I had hot, frothy milk; I had ice-cold milk; I had bowls of Greek yogurt, eaten greedily in the kitchen. BOWLS. OF. IT.

A couple of weeks ago the Milk Marketing Board asked a few bloggers to go learn to make lattes on the big shiny espresso machines so they could talk to us about milk.  (No pictures, no. I wasn't very good at it.  Because it turns out that in order to be a good barista, you have to hold the metal milkjug with your bare hand until it's so hot that any normal woman would drop it on the floor, screaming.)

Did you know that 1 in 10 Britons believe that semi-skimmed milk contains more than 50% fat (it actually contains 2%)? Some people also thought that olive oil was only 40% fat. What they thought the other 60% was I'll never know. Anyhow, the point is that they're all idiots and you should drink milk, like me, because it's really good for you, all full of proteins and calcium and other stuff. So there. Also you can go online and get yourself a milk tache. What's not to like?

Then a PR woman for Total offered me some yogurt. Which is great because Littlest and I are addicted to natural yogurt. Again, with the BOWLS. OF. IT. (I never really 'got' sugared yogurts. Yogurt should be white.)

The PR lady suggested that I cook with the yogurt provided, and sent recipes. Cook with it! Why would you, when you can spoon big whomps of it out into a bowl, put a couple of drops of maple syrup on and just eat it! You might just convince me with a smoothie. But it still seems a lot more effort.

There's a fat-free one, if you want it. It's still super-creamy, and I remember buying little pots of it to have with lunch when I worked near a supermarket years ago. Now, I'll have the calories, thanks - this is my favourite. And these little pots with the honey? Oh, my lord.

Anyway, if I don't respond as quickly as I could to any comments, it's because I'm standing by the fridge, cramming myself with calcium. Just give me a minute.*

*While you're waiting let me show you this video from a year or two ago of Fluid Pudding eating Total yogurt. I've read her blog since long before I ever had one of my own, and it's one of my favourites. I tried doing my own video as a kind of homage, but I don't really have the bone structure.


  1. I was introduced to Total doused with greek pine honey and accompanied by the biggest, juiciest, tastiest, freshly picked nectarines, whilst breakfasting on a yacht in the Ionian Sea 20ish years ago, and even now I cant eat it without remembering that time. BLISS! It makes me sound glamorous doesn't it? Really I was cleaning the yacht for my uncle who owned a business hiring them out .. but a blissful time nonetheless and whenever I feel the need to go back, I reach for a pot of full fat total.. it's cheaper than a flight!....

  2. Fatfree total yogurt with chopped up strawberries and pulverised meringues is one of my FAVOURITE WW friendly puddings. And probably explains why I am edging ever closer to a sugar problem ...

  3. oh. I thought you were going to talk about the other white stuff. the non dairy weather related white stuff. I am pretty fed up with it. but I guess if I brought some inside I could make frozen yoghurt desserts and everything would be ok
    if I had any yoghurt. it didn't make it to the list of emergency rations that could be bought on the last adventure to the shops....

  4. Oooh yummy! I dollop it on curries and swoon while I eat it.
    Too funny about olive oikl only being 40% fat. Sounds like something I would get in an email forwarded from my mother-in-law.

  5. I am deeply in love with The Fage. And Fluid Pudding.

  6. Oh I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't eat dairy. That would be nearly all my favorite foods gone!

    And in America semi-skimmed milk is actually called 2% milk so no problem remembering the fat content!

    K x

  7. You are preaching to the converted.
    I made some stuff called birchemuesli (or something) a month or two ago. It has a whomp (SI unit for yoghurt I presume) of natural yoghurt, oats soaked in apple juice, grated fruits and raspberries and honey and that. Oh::my::eyes. It's bl88dy delicious.

  8. Dairy? Doesn't interest me at all! No milk (yuk), no cheese, no yogurt, no ice cream. When I want these things (hardly ever) I have non dairy ones. Tastier, nicer, doesn't have a dark side and healthier (where do all those boy calves go?).Dairy makes you spotty, fatty and I don't like it at all. Guess I am in a minority huh? But with you doing a dairy promo I guess the industry can take it.


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