Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Santa's a flake. And he certainly didn't get me any headphones.

I apologise right now - there will be no correspondence with Santa in the Coffee House this year. I've enjoyed his letters, but the bitter truth is he's not coming here any more and we all just have to LIVE WITH IT.

It's fine. I mean it's fine.  Yes, it means it's all on me now, and yes, it means that the child who wrote letters to the fairies asking Santa to pass them on is now a girl in a denim jacket and sparkly nail varnish brandishing a long list of incredibly expensive and sexist Lego, and the child who once screamed in joy because Santa had brought fleece baby wipes for her doll is now a teenager who may or may not have a Christmas list but certainly can't take her earphones out of her ears for long enough to share it with me.

Did someone say earphones? I got sent some to review - Kinovo BTH220 Bluetooth headphones. And I went from someone who couldn't really see why I'd need anything other than the assorted shower of earphones left over from old phones which are scattered round the house to someone who constantly needs her new headphones because they are amazing.

I wear them when running. (I'm not going to write a running post, for the following reasons:

Like the middle-aged cliche that I am, I'm doing the Couch to 5k, and my new headphones are fantastic, connecting instantly to my phone without any faff, and crucially not shifting at all as I shuffle along. Running without using one hand  to continually shove in my inferior little earbuds is a much lovelier experience, and no wires bounce up and down. And I can answer the phone - if I can still breathe, that is.

They fold up in a little bag! And they stay charged for hours. And they don't get all tangled up.

Those people who sew whilst listening to podcasts? I bet they all have these headphones. How many times have I sat down to sew with the intention of half-watching television or listening to the radio on the tablet, and then been presented with the terrible reality - as soon as you start the machine up, all you can hear is DRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Sometimes, when the children are engaged in some worthy activity such as watching YouTube videos or playing with sexist Lego, I stick some grown-up TV on the laptop and listen whilst I'm cooking, not caring at all about any swearing or murder because I'm the only one who can hear it. The sound is very good, for all I know about sound quality. (I don't know anything about sound quality). And if a child falls over or chops off its fingers, I can still hear what's going on (Mr Coffee has some fancy noise-cancelling headphones, which means once he has them on his head he may as well be in New Zealand for all the good he is to us).

Anyway, it's quarter to eleven, I've had a brandy, so now is the traditional time for me to start looking at Christmas presents online and think of everything I need to get and have a little brandy-soaked weep. Tomorrow I have a day off, and though that would be a better day to look at the shopping, I've chosen that day to make a summer dress. Don't look at me.


  1. Like the headphones....I'm also on the couch to 5k bandwagon and still at the earpods falling out stage!! But no Santa!?! That is sad news....but no more sexist lego either....

  2. Rest assured I will never write a running post. Lego never used to be sexist, it used be just lego.

  3. I hope your brandy-soaked weep went well, and that your summer dress will be beautiful. You are doing everything 100% right.

  4. I loathe running, so unladylike...

    Good to know that you are still about.

  5. I'm in New Zealand. You can come here to find Mr Coffee if need be. I did a couch to 5k thingy but I hurt myself badly, so you be careful. Santa doesn't show up here either, but strangely lego does somehow.....the boys buy it for me. A lego caravan.......yeeeeeeeesssssssssss!

  6. running. good grief. what about your knees?

  7. Headphones while sewing, genius, I need these. It's so annoying otherwise, I can't hear a thing over the noise of the machine. I really need to start running, I just haven't quite worked up to it yet. I will though, I'm almost sure I will. CJ xx

  8. Sold! I hope you get a little click through kick back. And they were on offer. Just think how mucb more technology they would sell with reviews like yours - podcasts whilst sewing. Perfect. And my gin soaked weep is because rather than writing christmas cards or preparing for our xmas trip away and sending out new year's party invitations (what possessed me) I ageed to make a felt wrap for a friend's mother who is very ill. I thought it would take a day. So far it's taken 2 and I'm only half done. Sigh.


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