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Wednesday 16 December 2009

So, Christmas is going GREAT. Really.

I had a call from Santa this morning. (I know!)

"Sorry to bother you," said Santa. "I know that you're busy this week, blowing your nose and sneezing and weeping."

I sneezed loudly into the phone.

"Bless you," said Santa (he's so caring!). "But I don't know what to ask my elves to put aside for the Little Lattes. I know that the Eldest Latte has asked for a headboard and light for her bed to make it more comfy to read in bed, but she'll need something else to open, won't she? Any suggestions?"

"Um. No. I don't know what she'd like."

"Riiiight." said Santa. "Well. Maybe some ideas for the Littlest Latte? I have nothing at all for her yet."

"She said 'ponies'," I said. "But I don't know what kind she means, because we have loads of ponies that the Eldest Latte played with, and she barely looks at them. Also, she made us pack up all the Playmobil and put it in the loft because it was 'untidy'. I don't know what to get her."

"That is a problem," said Santa. "There's only days to go, and I really do need to get this sleigh packed."

"Oh, Santa, I don't know what to say," I sighed. "I'm just so glad you exist. Because I can't imagine what kind of a state I'd be in, if I'd bought nothing yet and had no clue what I was looking for, and was sitting in bed with a laptop and a streaming cold trying to get ideas from Amazon the day before they stopped guaranteeing Christmas delivery. That would be a nightmare."

And then Santa just laughed at me.

"Ho. Ho. Ho."

16 comments:

  1. :) you made me smile....best of luck

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  2. Love it, also inst it great that they want for so little, but putting the playmobil away, very sad indeed

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  3. My little one says she wants chocolate. That I can do. The elder one said she wants a Nintendo DSi. Not a snowball's chance.

    Not sure that helps you though!

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  4. My little is getting Gruffalo pencils from Santa

    Just in case he needs a link:
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gruffalo-Chunky-Colouring-Pencil-Set/dp/B002Y0MQ7E/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=toys&qid=1260969013&sr=8-2

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  5. Pony books? Pony movies? Or, even longer shot, perhaps she has a secret desire for something fairy related? (Same long hair, ability to read minds and fly and mostly figments of the imagination).

    Art supplies are my fallback. Our eldest loves peelable window paints. I think Klutz makes something along those lines under Window Art. And actually, almost anything from Klutz would be fun to unwrap.

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  6. ahhh.... hope you feel better soon. Perhaps this page from Martin's Money Saving tips will help ... http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/cheap-amazon-loopholes

    It's all about Amazon loopholes!! i've been glued to it all afternoon. xx

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  7. Ho Ho Ho... loved your comment at Mummymad's

    I went shopping today ( hate hate hate) with friend buying up T K Max who told me she never gets presents from her boys... they are 14 & 17 for Chri-ssake ( and it IS for his sake isn't it ?! ) I'm having WORDS with those boys.

    What goes in to the loft will be resurected later on... a bit like Jesus.

    If in doubt choc & more choc xx

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  8. On the outside I'm laughing hysterically at this post, while on the inside I'm crying my eyes out.

    It's so bad here. I have boxes stacked, unopened, of presents for the kids and no idea what they are or how many one has versus the other. One child could possibly have ten gifts, and the other, only one. Or none!

    Who knows? Not me! My short-term memory is shot to hell! Maybe none of us will have any presents! Maybe they're all for the dog!

    These kids are going to need therapy.

    Shit. I'm the one who needs therapy.

    But first, a drink.

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  9. I love Christmas - I do.

    Why though do I leave the present shopping bit to the
    very

    last

    minute.

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  10. Gulp. Good luck. And get well soon.

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  11. This was hilarious.
    I know, it's not funny though ...
    Paola

    WF? BLIND

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  12. I'm seriously disillusioned. Shouldn't Santa, being an evolved and highly psychic Higher Life Form, just automatically KNOW what everybody wants? I mean, aren't those wish lists and letters just for show? If I were you, I'd call him back and give him an earful. He's a slacker.

    P.S. My word verif is "colli," which means you have a near-fatal e.coli infection. Just in case you weren't able to put your finger on what was ailing you.

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  13. ...so how are you doing

    My friend looked at me in total astonishment over a coffee... "What you haven't got the kids' presents yet? " Er, NO.

    I've finally put some lights on the tree - well Husband did. Kidz & I decided it looks good - minimilistic - less fussy...

    THANK GOD !!!

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  14. My friend's son asked for a yo-yo...that's it, nothing else!

    Saw you hit 40 recently. I got there in October - I had a lovely time too. Happy Birthday (belatedly)

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  15. I know this is a little late in posting but I thought it might make you giggle... when my youngest, aged 4, was asked what he wanted for Christmas he replied, a big fat woman with big boobies and big knickers! After I picked my myself up off the floor and dried my tears of laughter I asked him where on earth did get that one from? Did he catch a glimpse of Bridgette Jones Diary? No it was good old Tom & Jerry :)

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