I had a call from Santa this morning. (I know!)
"Sorry to bother you," said Santa. "I know that you're busy this week, blowing your nose and sneezing and weeping."
I sneezed loudly into the phone.
"Bless you," said Santa (he's so caring!). "But I don't know what to ask my elves to put aside for the Little Lattes. I know that the Eldest Latte has asked for a headboard and light for her bed to make it more comfy to read in bed, but she'll need something else to open, won't she? Any suggestions?"
"Um. No. I don't know what she'd like."
"Riiiight." said Santa. "Well. Maybe some ideas for the Littlest Latte? I have nothing at all for her yet."
"She said 'ponies'," I said. "But I don't know what kind she means, because we have loads of ponies that the Eldest Latte played with, and she barely looks at them. Also, she made us pack up all the Playmobil and put it in the loft because it was 'untidy'. I don't know what to get her."
"That is a problem," said Santa. "There's only days to go, and I really do need to get this sleigh packed."
"Oh, Santa, I don't know what to say," I sighed. "I'm just so glad you exist. Because I can't imagine what kind of a state I'd be in, if I'd bought nothing yet and had no clue what I was looking for, and was sitting in bed with a laptop and a streaming cold trying to get ideas from Amazon the day before they stopped guaranteeing Christmas delivery. That would be a nightmare."
And then Santa just laughed at me.
"Ho. Ho. Ho."