Questions which may never be answered

(First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their kind and wise comments on my last post. It truly was a wonderful thing, and did help me get things into perspective. Thank you. And you don't need to worry about me any more - I have been cheering myself up immensely, by spending time sitting alone in the dark, listening to Leonard Cohen and drinking wine. That can't fail to help, can it?)

Onto the questions.

1) Yesterday Mr Coffee spotted a car and caravan stopped on the hard shoulder of the motorway, facing in the opposite direction to the flow of traffic. How did that happen?

2) Why is this guy following me on Twitter? What can he expect to gain from updates on a middle-aged Englishwoman's ironing?

3) It is the half term holiday, and my attempts to make a shopping list or leave the house to go to the supermarket have been met with tantrums, demands to help with jigsaws, and catastrophic paint spillages. Will top quality hands-on parenting make up for the fact that none of us will eat anything this week?

4) I love my new smock dress, a bargain purchase from the Children's Society charity shop. So cool and flowing; no stomach muscle control required. But when people look at me, are they thinking about Hattie Jacques?