Christmas, interrupted

Here's not the place to come if you're looking for pictures of Advent candles or memories of each Christmas decoration hanging from a twinkly tree. Or stories of parcels posted on time and Christmas cards lovingly sent. Of chocolate brownies baked or home-made goodies in the fridge. Of everything ready.

A bout of flu (which I miraculously seem to have escaped - but give me time, and I'm sure I'll catch up) has kept us confined to the house; instead of the beautific week of treats, Christmas crafts, and little trips I expected, there has been much staring at the television, tiredness and bad temper.

I'm trying hard to come up with the Christmas spirit. I've got scented candles, Benjamin Britten, and a box of mince pies. (Yes, I did say a box. I didn't make my own. Don't look at me like that.)

Crossing fingers, everyone seems to be over the worst. So all that remains to be done is to swipe Santa's sherry and mince pie, catch up with wrapping, and wish you all a very Happy Christmas.

Dick's hatband may be queer, but we'll never know quite why

One of my most wonderful memories of studying English at university was the day I booked an appointment in a quiet room of the library to have some private time with a copy of Dr Johnson's dictionary. It was elegant and oversized, with beautiful, marbled pages - turning each one felt like a ritual.

One thing's for certain, if I was in London anytime soon I would be making my way to the British Library, where his dictionary will be on display as part of the first ever exhibition to explore the English language - a free exhibition which looks at the influences on the language, and how it is still evolving today.

I love how language evolves – you won't find me complaining when my children come home telling me that the snow is 'well wicked'. Bizarre clusters of words which seem to make no sense are fascinating to me. I've lost count of the number of times that we have laughed at The Grandmother for the phrase 'as queer as Dick's hatband' – having never heard it anywhere else, I was convinced that my family had made it up. Not so. It stretches back centuries, and may even refer to Oliver Cromwell's son.

Evolving English: One Language, Many Voices opened at the British Library on November 12 and will be open until April 3. There's a quiz you can do online – I got 5/6 for the middle level, but this was a complete fluke. Have a go – but don't forget to tell me how you did.

In addition to the dictionary, artefacts such as the only surviving manuscript of Beowulf (again, the student memories! Though I don't honestly remember understanding a great deal of it) will be on show, along with Shakespeare's 'quartos', the King James Bible, lists of slang, children’s books, text messages and web pages.

You can even record your voice reading Mr Tickle and have it added to the British Library Audio Archive as a piece of the collection, which will provide a snapshot of voices in 2010 for future analysis in the decades to come.

It's a pity I can't get down there to add my bit of Yorkshire to proceedings. But if you get the chance – lucky you – give Dr Johnson's work a friendly wave from me. (If you're on Twitter, you can tweet about it using the hashtag #evolvingenglish)

British Library




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This week I'm grateful for...

1. The friendship of generous and talented people, which transcends geographical distance. A poet and old friend writes a beautiful book, then thinks to send us a copy. (There's a poem from it in The Guardian here).

   ...and this week I got out the decorations box and unpacked the Christmas CD sent to me last year by everyone's favourite singing blogger.

2. My home. Hearing life stories written by homeless shelter users last week snapped things right back into perspective. What on earth does it matter if the kitchen floor hasn't been cleaned?

3. Birthdays. Raise a glass for me this weekend, would you?

For more gratitude, visit Maxabella Loves.

Things the world has forced me to wonder about this week

Are PVC trousers really a good choice in freezing weather? Do they contain heat or repel it? I don't want to try them. I just want to know.

Why on earth would you pay for fish to eat bits of your feet? I'd never given it a lot of thought before, but now I strongly believe I would actively avoid having my extremities nibbled by fish. And even if they are so good at removing dead skin, how do those taking the appointments know when it's a good time for the fish? What if they're not hungry? What if they turn their noses up at your toes because they're full of bits of someone else's feet?

Where can a toothbrush hide? At the beginning of October we got new toothbrushes, as we do every three months. Littlest thought hers was so fantastic that she immediately ran off and hid it, and no-one has seen it since. In proper Flylady style, I have been round every bit of the house since then, vacuuming behind furniture, emptying toyboxes and checking for abandoned applecores, etc, and the toothbrush is nowhere to be seen. There is nowhere else to look. Did it come alive?

Don't forget I'm giving away mineral make-up this week - click here to find out how to enter!

Mineral make-up giveaway

It's a Coffee Lady giveaway! How seasonal! 

Just look what I've got for you!

More, you say? More! More! I'll give you more!

It doesn't even stop! No it doesn't!

I wear make-up practically every day - not loads, but enough to make me feel like I don't resemble the walking dead. I don't want to look younger, I don't want to hide away behind a mask - I just want to look a bit brighter, a bit less tired.

I'm not alone. According to a study commissioned by Sheer Cover® mineral make-up, polling over 1000 women, 32% of those asked said they would prefer to go to a Christmas party without their underwear, their winter coat and their friends rather than go without make-up.

I got the chance to try a set of Sheer Cover foundation this month, and I expected to be able to tell you how nice it was, and then move on. Make-up is make-up, yes? What's the difference?

What I didn't expect was to utterly love the stuff. All of a sudden, I looked like an advertisement for glowiness and health, even on the days I felt far from glowy or healthy. It didn't have that foundation 'look' - my skin just looked better. Much better.

I did worry that the effect wouldn't last long. I'm used to a liquid foundation - with mineral foundation you apply loose powder with a brush. I wasn't convinced it would make it through a day - but it did. To prove it, I walked through a snowstorm on the way back from work and it still stayed put. (I didn't deliberately walk through a snowstorm. But still, it was a pretty good test.)

I should have known. Last year after my 40th birthday I set up The Changing Room, a Flickr group where a few of us posted pictures of what we were wearing in order to get an honest opinion.  The conversation there turned to make-up, and mineral make-up was praised by another member, who liked it for not being cakey. See - bloggers are always right.

I also tried Sheer Cover eye highlighters, which knocked the socks off anything I'd tried for a long while, giving a sparkly but subtle sheen. Mascara usually falls right off me - I have to buy the stuff that has to be sandblasted off - but this one lasted the day without the dreaded panda eyes. The concealer hid the dark circles under my eyes incredibly well.

So I emailed Sheer Cover and asked if I could share the joy.  And they were more than generous - so one lucky winner will get these super things:

Eyeshadow Palette - Modern Classics
Eyeshadow Palette - Naturals
Lip Gloss Collection - Berry.

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post. (If you like, tell me what vital make-up discovery you can't do without.)

If you want an extra entry, link to the giveway on your blog, follow me on Twitter, or comment on this giveaway on my Facebook page.

Entries from the UK only please - the giveaway closes at 10pm on Wednesday December 15th.

Congratulations to the winner - Ticking Stripes!

The white stuff

People have been flinging dairy produce at me recently. And I have no problem with that. I am not called LadyoftheLattes for nothing. And I love watching my children's hands clasped around a glass of milk, and hearing them gulp. I am at one with the lactose.

When I was ill with ME, a nutritional therapist friend suggested an exclusion diet. I gave up wheat, caffeine, sugar, dairy, alcohol... and then crossed my fingers that neither of the latter two were to blame.

The week I could have milk again was wonderful. I had hot, frothy milk; I had ice-cold milk; I had bowls of Greek yogurt, eaten greedily in the kitchen. BOWLS. OF. IT.

A couple of weeks ago the Milk Marketing Board asked a few bloggers to go learn to make lattes on the big shiny espresso machines so they could talk to us about milk.  (No pictures, no. I wasn't very good at it.  Because it turns out that in order to be a good barista, you have to hold the metal milkjug with your bare hand until it's so hot that any normal woman would drop it on the floor, screaming.)

Did you know that 1 in 10 Britons believe that semi-skimmed milk contains more than 50% fat (it actually contains 2%)? Some people also thought that olive oil was only 40% fat. What they thought the other 60% was I'll never know. Anyhow, the point is that they're all idiots and you should drink milk, like me, because it's really good for you, all full of proteins and calcium and other stuff. So there. Also you can go online and get yourself a milk tache. What's not to like?

Then a PR woman for Total offered me some yogurt. Which is great because Littlest and I are addicted to natural yogurt. Again, with the BOWLS. OF. IT. (I never really 'got' sugared yogurts. Yogurt should be white.)

The PR lady suggested that I cook with the yogurt provided, and sent recipes. Cook with it! Why would you, when you can spoon big whomps of it out into a bowl, put a couple of drops of maple syrup on and just eat it! You might just convince me with a smoothie. But it still seems a lot more effort.

There's a fat-free one, if you want it. It's still super-creamy, and I remember buying little pots of it to have with lunch when I worked near a supermarket years ago. Now, I'll have the calories, thanks - this is my favourite. And these little pots with the honey? Oh, my lord.

Anyway, if I don't respond as quickly as I could to any comments, it's because I'm standing by the fridge, cramming myself with calcium. Just give me a minute.*

*While you're waiting let me show you this video from a year or two ago of Fluid Pudding eating Total yogurt. I've read her blog since long before I ever had one of my own, and it's one of my favourites. I tried doing my own video as a kind of homage, but I don't really have the bone structure.

Advent

We welcome Advent with my lovely new wall-hanging decoration, made by someone who knew what they were doing, and purchased from the church fair for £5. My contribution to the fair was a bunch of fabric wallets with wobbly stitching and wonky corners which nobody bought.  But, God made us all, and loves us for whoever we are, right?

The Christmas traditions have begun. The sourcing of the white tights for the Nativity costume, the fear that some vital event will be missed off the calendar and a Latte will shout and cry, the silent prayers during the Christingle service. (These are not traditional prayers, but the prayers of a mother who is watching a child with balance and co-ordination issues holding an orange with a lighted candle stuck in it. The kind of prayers that ask God for assurance that Lidl treat their children's ski jackets with fire retardant.)

So a quick wish for you all, to have a happy and peaceful Advent. Before it all goes up in smoke.